i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
