Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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