My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
