Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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