this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
