Where did you get a picture of my penis
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize