I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him