Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
