i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
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I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
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I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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