I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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