Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
