he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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