I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i need some magic done to my vagina
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
