I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
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You. Win. At. Life.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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