I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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