Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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