Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I want her autograph on my taint
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
