Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
