; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
