it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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