We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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