member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
