Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
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If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
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where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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