That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
