Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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