make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
