i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
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I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
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My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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