I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
