the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Text me some of your sweat
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
