Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
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You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
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I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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