i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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