What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
