OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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