You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she told me i tasted like america
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
