I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
