I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Two words: nipple clamps
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