What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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