So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
