whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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