I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
