I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
