i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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