Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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