so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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