I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.