i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.