I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(