Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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