im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
