Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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