What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
