Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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