I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
