; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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