Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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