i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize