the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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