he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Did you just see the Batmobile???
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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