you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
