Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
