You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think I died a long time ago.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
