The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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